The conversation that she and I had was probably the hardest conversation that I have ever had being a manager.
I had a team member that to be honest, I considered a good friend.
We had worked together on the team for two years and at one point about a year in she made a bad judgement call.
The conversation that she and I had was probably the hardest. And I’ve had my fair share of tough convo’s.
But this hit hard because I had to let the consequences of her actions play out if I was going to do what was best for the team and be fair.
There were tears (from BOTH of us).
After what felt like the longest conversation of my life, we both made it through to the other side OK. So much so that she eventually became part of the leadership team as we expanded.
I tell you this because:
Sometimes team members just make really dumb mistakes. We cannot assume that they are trouble makers because they didn’t do what we would think they should have known better about.
Team members are always watching. The way you deal with one situation affects the bunch. Letting someone get away with something because of fear to speak up – tells the rest of the team that it’s okay to model that behaviour.
Lastly, it’s okay if the conversation doesn’t go perfectly. It’s really your intent that matters. For me, I didn’t care that I ended up crying because hey, the truth is I cared enough. Showing emotion isn’t a sign of weakness, which unfortunately we have all been led to believe.
Vulnerability is strength. So if the conversation is a little bumpy – that’s okay. As long as both parties are able to get to the other side of it with clarity on what the expectations are moving forward.
The truth is the more we shy away from these conversations, the more toxic the situation will get.
In today’s episode of MakTV we are diving into the land of discomfort and discussing 4 steps for engaging in tough conversations. Click the video below to learn the framework for difficult conversations:
November 5, 2019