Are you a manager stuck in survival mode? Do you ever feel like you’re living Groundhog Day as a manager: where every day is just an endless stream of problems to solve, fires to put out, and team members constantly needing your attention? And no matter how hard you try, no matter how much work you put in, you never feel like you’re actually getting on top of things?

Well, you’re definitely not alone. 

I’m sure many people can relate, but that doesn’t mean it’s okay. Operating in a constant state of chaos is not good for your physical health, your emotional or mental health, and it’s certainly not good for your social life either.

And if you’re living in this mode, it likely means you’re not making the impact you want as a leader, because you’re probably capping your team’s potential, which costs the organization, and could eventually cost you your job… assuming you don’t burn out and quit first.

So if this sounds like you, stick around, because today, I’m going to unpack:

• Why so many managers fall into this trap of survival mode
• What to do if you realize you have a needy team that can’t seem to do things without you
• The exact method I use to help managers get off the hamster wheel of chaos so you can start making real impact in your role.

How To Get Out Of Survival Mode as a Manager When Your Team Needs You

Let me ask you a question: have you ever set aside time on your calendar to get something important done, and then suddenly someone knocks on your door or messages you in Teams asking for help? So you stop what you’re doing to support them… and an hour later, you’ve lost your focus and energy, and that task you planned to complete? It doesn’t get done.

My default response when someone on my team asked me for something used to be, “Yeah, sure, let me help you,” because isn’t that what a manager is supposed to do? Support their team when they’re struggling?

Well… yes, that statement is true. But it’s also exactly where the problem lies.

The idea that a manager should be a source of support for their team has come to mean, for a lot of people, that they should be doing the work for their team, or doing the thinking for their team.

I know for me, I came to that belief by watching other managers. I saw them doing the work for their teams or telling their people exactly what to do… and then I layered on my own need to be needed. Because if I don’t have all the answers, and if I’m not putting out every fire, then what exactly is my purpose as a manager?

Are you guilty of feeling this way too?

When you first get promoted to manager, nobody sits you down and says, “Hey, this is not how you demonstrate your value.” And because of that, you can easily get stuck on this hamster wheel—constantly reacting to your team’s needs and never having the time to do the real work that brings value to your team and to the organization.

To get off this hamster wheel, you need to shift your belief systems around what it means to be a manage.

In my experience, you have to ground your value in knowing that your value comes from empowering your team, not reacting to your team. Because when you empower your team, your results start to change. Your team begins to operate more autonomously and take ownership of their work. They’re able to think things through on their own.

A Real-Life Example Of Why It’s So Hard For Managers To Get Out Of Survival Mode

As you read that, were you thinking that seemed easier said than done? One reason that comes up often with our New Manager Accelerator students is that sometimes you really do have a needy team that needs your assistance at every nook and cranny of the process.

We had a student, Sandra, who went through exactly this. Her team constantly came to her at different stages for help, even though she had what she called “airtight” processes and systems to help them solve problems on their own. 

Naturally, she was frustrated, because she couldn’t make traction in her day. I’m sure you can relate to that.

So she came to one of our calls and said, “Mak, what do I do? I can’t keep operating like this.” And what we did was challenge her to challenge her own assumption. We asked her, “What if what you believe to be true… isn’t?”

Up until that point, she believed that more process or more structure was the answer to getting her team to solve problems independently. For her, when she feels lost or unsure, she turns to process and structure. So she assumed, “If the team can’t solve this, I just need to give them more structure.”

But clearly, that assumption wasn’t true, because if it were, all those airtight processes and systems would’ve worked. And they didn’t.

In fact, all it did was increase the number of questions they had. So if you can relate to the situation where your team is consistently coming to you, asking questions, asking you to solve problems they should be able to solve on their own, then I want you to take a step back. Pause for a second and ask yourself a series of questions.

Ask yourself:

• Is this a retention issue? Is the team member coming to me because they’re forgetting the steps?
• Is this a process issue? Is the process unclear, confusing, or overly complicated?
  Is this a confidence issue? Does this person lack the confidence to make decisions, and that’s why they keep checking in with me at every step?
  

These questions are really important, because once you consider them, you’ll be able to identify the root cause of the problem and then apply the right technique and approach.

Now, going back to Sandra, who spent months applying the wrong technique and essentially wasting her time because nothing was changing. When she finally stopped, challenged her assumptions, and got to the root cause, she discovered it wasn’t the process at all. It was that her team didn’t feel confident making decisions at different points in the process.

So once she figured out, “Oh, this is a decision-making confidence issue,” she was able to apply the right trainings and support to help them work through that.

Getting Out Of Survival Mode Isn’t Just About Your Team

As I write that, I also want you to know that if you’re a manager stuck in survival mode, you cannot put all of this on your team. Sometimes it’s as simple as tweaking the way you are approaching your week. I also know you’re going to have resistance to changing your approach because you’re plate is full. Keep reading.

Continuing to say you do not have time to be proactive guarantees that you will continue to play defense. 

I am the first to admit that the initial time investment can feel hard. But it will release the ongoing pain that comes with constantly feeling like you’re not making a difference. And I know that’s painful for you, otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this.

That doesn’t mean I want you to go out blindly trying to “be proactive.” We want to make wise time investments. And that’s exactly why, in the New Manager Accelerator program, I teach my students a very specific method that helps them gain more time, reduce stress, and get ahead of many common people-management issues.

This method consists of three parts, or phases:

Phase One: The Debrief

The debrief is an intentional pause in your week to determine what’s happening, what’s not happening, and most importantly, why. This puts an end to the pattern of blindly doing what’s always been done, without realizing it’s what’s weighing you down.

Phase Two: Prioritization

This phase is about strategically choosing what you will do, and in what order. Look for what will give you the biggest ROI in most cases. It’s also about choosing what will solve the undercurrent of distractions.

Phase Three: The Plan 

This one is my personal favorite because it sings to my Type A personality. This phase is all about building something implementable, real solutions, while also accounting for the inevitable curveballs. Because we all know: what doesn’t get planned doesn’t get done. Or if it does get done, it’s rushed and lacks intentionality.

I’m sure you’ve heard before that “the best defense is a good offense.” Don’t flip that around by constantly playing defense. Set yourself up for success now by being proactive in what you’re doing.

Are You Ready To Get Out Of Survival Mode As a Manager?

Before you go off and try to apply everything we discussed today, I want to have a heart-to-heart.

While these steps can absolutely help relieve some of the stress you’re feeling, and help you stop feeling like you’re always behind the eight ball, I’d be lying if I told you they’re everything you need. Because the truth is, there are a lot of factors that contribute to being stuck in this cycle.

At the end of the day, impactful leaders don’t become impactful by accident. They have frameworks. They have skills. Plus, they have tools, support, and guidance—all working together to help them lead effectively and actually feel the joy of making a real difference in their role.

This is exactly why I created the New Manager Accelerator program—to give you the tools and the practical support you need to become the leader you wanted to be when you said “yes” to this role in the first place.

Head here next to learn more about the New Manager Accelerator program.