Updated January 20th, 2025

Has it ever happened to you that no matter what you do, things do not turn out how you expect them to in your leadership role? Maybe you don’t have a motivated team; you’re not achieving results or enjoying your new role. Newsflash: You might have developed one of these habits, causing you a bump in your leadership role. But no worries, my friend, because in this blog post, we’ll expose the five most common leadership habits you need to stop and, most importantly, how to do it.

Before diving into all the strategies, if you’re looking to improve your leadership capacity, the best place to start is by watching my free training. In it, I walk you through the five pillars of my Elevate Team Performance Framework—the roadmap for becoming an effective leader who builds high-performing teams. Click here to sign up and watch it on demand for free!

Leadership Habits You Need to Stop Doing (Right Now!)

Most of us develop our habits by observation, sometimes even admiration. If you think about it, kids usually learn to behave in certain situations based on their parents’ behaviors. The same thing happens to us as adults. Perhaps you had a mediocre manager who taught or showed you the opposite of what you’re supposed to be as a leader. Or you just had a mentor with outdated practices that no longer work out.

Whatever the case, I want to remind you not to be so hard on yourself. You’ve already done the best part, which is self-awareness. Realizing something is not working as you’d want, being humble enough to accept your mishaps, and working to change the outcome of your situation are the best first steps to becoming an impactful leader.

So, with that mindset, let’s get to business and identify the five leadership habits you need to stop doing right now and, most importantly, what to do instead.

1. Acting with passive aggressiveness.
2. Constantly seeking validation from your boss.
3. Always agreeing with upper management.
4. Leading the way you want to be led.
5. Living in the reactionary zone.

It’s a lot of content to dive into, so let’s get to it!

1. Acting With Passive Aggressiveness

Some managers often act passive-aggressively because they’re uncomfortable with confrontation or fear conflict. Instead of directly expressing their feelings, they use indirect actions or words, which can lead to confusion and misunderstandings—sometimes without even realizing they’re doing it.

Here are some examples of what this behavior looks like:

• Giving your team the silent treatment: Ignoring someone instead of discussing what’s bothering you.
• Backhanded compliments: “Wow, you’re so brave to present without much preparation!
• Procrastination as a defense mechanism: Delaying tasks or “forgetting” to do something as a way to express frustration.
• Sarcasm: Using humor to mask criticism or hostility.

The most dangerous thing to know is that you can develop this habit and not even realize that you are doing it. Even worse, it damages trust, delays communication, and creates a toxic environment at work.

What you should be doing instead is learning how to be an impactful leader:

• Be transparent with your expectations and hold people accountable for their actions.
• Be direct and empathetic.
• If something’s bothering you, have an honest conversation with the team member involved.
• Focus on finding solutions, not placing blame.

2. Constantly Seeking Validation From Your Boss

This happens a lot with new managers. They desperately want to prove that they deserve to be in a leadership role and that their boss was right to put them in one. They are constantly seeking validation and approval from their upper management. But, the reality is that it signals to their team that they’re not confident in their own leadership.

This habit will burn you out. It is not sustainable, practical, or unnecessary.

You were promoted because your manager saw your potential as a leader. You were given that promotion for a reason.

Even though you have a lot to learn (we all do), you don’t need to seek constant outside validation from your boss. Instead, look at the results you are having as a manager.

• Do you have a high-performing team?
• Are you wowing your customers?
• Are you helping your company achieve its goals?

These are excellent indicators to look to for validation that you are killing it as a manager.

3. Always Agreeing With Upper Management

I see a lot of new managers who are in the habit of always agreeing with upper management instead of critically thinking and forming their own opinions. They may be intimidated by their boss, who may hold the director or executive director title.

But here’s the truth: you are doing your company and yourself as a manager a disservice when you are agreeable. You are now in a leadership role, and it’s your job to think, not just do what you are told.

Instead, think about it this way: you have access to your team more than your boss or someone in upper management. You have information they don’t, and if you receive a task or order that doesn’t make sense for your team, you need to speak up respectfully. It’s your job to relay that information back so they can make wise decisions.

Now, I’m not saying you have to challenge everything, but you need to think critically and speak up if something doesn’t make sense. Doing so will earn you the respect of your team and your bosses.

4. Leading the Way You Want to Be Led

I hear this phrase commonly used among managers: “Be the manager that you wish you had.”

It’s easy to assume that what works for you will work for your team, but leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. Not everyone shares the same communication style, motivations, or learning preferences.

As someone in a leadership position, you need to learn to adapt to different people and how they are best led.

Take the time to understand your team members individually. Ask questions about their goals, preferred communication styles, and how they like to receive feedback. When you adapt your leadership style to meet your team’s needs, it shows you care and wish to build stronger relationships.

5. Living in the Reactionary Zone

Many managers live in the reactionary zone, and because of that, they are ineffective leaders, and their teams produce poor results.

Leading your team from a reactionary state instead of a proactive state is a recipe for burnout for you and your team members.

Instead, try this:

• Learn to be more practical in your daily routines.
• Be more intentional with your task management.
• Schedule time to plan, set priorities, and anticipate challenges.
• Delegate effectively and empower your team to handle smaller issues, freeing you up to focus on the bigger picture.

In the end, I want you to remind yourself that leadership is as much about what you stop doing as it is about what you start doing. By letting go of these five habits and replacing them with intentional actions, you’ll create a stronger, more positive impact on your team and feel more confident in your leadership role.

Remember that the best leaders aren’t perfect; they’re always learning. So, take this as an opportunity to reflect, grow, and lead with purpose. Your team (and your future self) will thank you for it!

Comment below with any questions about this topic and share it with a colleague who may be falling into one of these behaviors.